I used to lay in bed as a child full of angst and fear saying to myself "God made a mistake making me -- I wish I were never born". I believed it to my core. The tears would well up and when I couldn't hold them back, they'd pour down my cheeks. I'd cry so hard it felt like my insides would spew out in a river of emotional vomit. Was I so unlovable even God couldn't love me? Protect me? If God truly loved me, how could he allow my body and spirit be treated with such disgrace and abuse?
Even still, those 19 years of growing up, I had this drive. I wasn't sure where it came from. And, I wasn't sure what it was, but it kept me moving. I'd put one foot in front of the other, day-by-day, hour-by-hour. What was this thing, this drive? It's resilience!
Even when the pain was so great and I thought I couldn't move on, I did!!
Were does resiliency come from--this innate drive to survive?
Resiliency is not a characteristic you either do or do not have. It's thoughts and actions that were learned and developed likely through surviving considerable emotional distress. The amazing-ness of it is anyone can hone in on this skill!
Here are some ways to sharpen your resiliency:
- Create a relationship with yourself by connecting to your body
- Set goals related to what you want and commit!
- Take measured action towards your goals
- Cultivate self-care rituals and positive regard for yourself
- Look at life through a new pair of glasses--it's all about perspective
- Observe what's working in your life
- Practice acceptance because life is always evolving
- Explore self-discovery--get playful with this and ask yourself "What do I like?"
Do you see how resilient you are? Would you like to strengthen your drive to survive? If so, try out some of the suggestions above and let me know how it goes.