Growing up I knew I was physically and emotionally mistreated. I wasn't afraid to share some of those experiences with others in my circle. I could speak about it. I could feel sadness and anger...I didn't know I was sexually violated. I started getting clues when I was actively numbing with alcohol: I didn't enjoy being intimate with my partner at the time; I became fearful of things happening to my daughter; I felt sensations in my body--cues that something wasn't right.
Once I put down the drink, those sensations became louder. BUT, I couldn't and wouldn't talk about it. I felt loads of shame. I couldn't form the words "I was sexually violated". I held this dark and scary secret close to my heart. I shared it with no one! It wasn't until last year that the shame began to dissipate after I joined The Wilderness Walk. It was the power of being witnessed, while being held in a safe container, I could speak about it.
I now use those experiences to help others connect to their body and thrive!
Speaking and admitting to others who loved me was the secret potion I needed to move through and heal the shame I carried. It's how I'm able to talk about it here with you. I created a Complex PTSD Survivor Community to be a safe container for you to come and share -- to be witnessed -- to feel the power of visibility. Believe me, I know it can feel scary but there's magic in being SEEN!
It's time to release those old stories and shame of the past. It's time to talk about it with someone you trust. To take back your power!!!
You can release the trauma!!! You can sever the ownership and give it back to the person who violated you whether it be physical, emotional, spiritual or sexual. It's not yours to own any longer. You don't have to carry that weight in your backpack. I believe in you!!!
It's time to take action and thrive y'all!!!
Many, many blessings!!!